- During June, Daniel Fishburn from Asheville, NC joined members of our own community to explore specific key practices that, collectively, are parts of the Refuge Path to Recovery. Over 40 members from throughout Florida spent an afternoon exploring addiction, renunciation, inventory and understanding, meditation as investigative practice, mentorship and spiritual friendship, and personal ethical conduct and the precepts as learning opportunities.
- Beginning in July, the intersangha is hosting a series focusing on how central finding our authentic voices is to our recovery process. The biweekly series will explore challenges faced by women, members from the LGBTQI community, those recovering from process addictions, persons with both mental and physical disabilities, persons of color, and cys-identified straight men in owning their individual voices during developmental periods, during addiction, and in recovery (both within and outside of Refuge). Our goal is to find ways to make our sangha truly safe and welcoming for each of us.
- Throughout 2018 we have met weekly as a group to work through the inventory process, learning how to investigate these central concerns by supporting each other spiritually through the process. Although this meeting began in response to the scarcity of available mentors, it has shown the tremendous value of friendships based on spiritual connection, honesty, and compassionately confronting our truths with others!
- We have started taking meetings into two residential treatment centers, and have begun conversations with a number of traditionally 12-step based programs on how we can augment options for their clients.
These are my recommendations for books about the Refuge Recovery practice, the intersection of Twelve Steps and Buddhism, and how to meditate. They are not specifically endorsed by Refuge Recovery and are offered in the spirit of generosity to our sangha. Happy reading!
For me, the core of the Refuge Recovery book has always been the chapter “The Process.” There it is, the crack in the sidewalk I stumble over every time I read it, Number 6, Effort/Energy:
“We commit to the daily disciplined practice(s) of meditation…”
and then a few paragraphs later,
“We encourage you to begin with the practice of meditation right away. Meditation is going to be the most important tool in supporting our renunciation.”
This is demonstrably true. I have seen it work miracles in my life and in the lives of dozens of people. And if I know how true and valuable this is, why is it so hard for me to stick with this brief daily commitment? And I’ve noticed that it’s not just me. Newcomers and long-time practitioners alike have their struggles with meditation practice. Restlessness, doubt, attachments to our stories, and self-criticism can all derail a meditation session or even a long-established practice. But the meditation practice is absolutely key to our recovery. How can we overcome these hindrances and establish or continue a practice that is so crucial and beneficial to our developing sense of ease in the world as it is?
In Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living, Pema Chödrön seems to speak directly to us in her loving voice about how to accept ourselves and our lives, just as they are. She provides clear instruction in three basic meditation practices: basic sitting meditation, tonglen, and working with lojong, the seven points of mind training.
I found this book to be a real life saver. The lojong slogans serve as exercise for my heart and mind, just as walking does for my heart and body. Tonglen made sense for the first time, too.
But for me, probably the most valuable passage was instruction on becoming mindful of thoughts as just something the mind does. Pema says,
“Labeling your thoughts as ‘thinking’ will help you see the transparency of thoughts, that things are actually very light and illusory. Every time your stream of thoughts solidifies into a heavy storyline…label that ‘thinking.’ Then you will be able to see how all the passion that’s connected with these thoughts, or all the aggression or all the heartbreak, is simply passing memory.”
That was a huge revelation, and the book is full of them. Give it a read! May it help you be at ease with your practice.
Our first meeting was held in June 2015. We have 8 meetings per week, as well as a monthly outdoor meeting, and one meeting we take into detox. We meet in 5 locations around Asheville, including the VA. We have mentors who have worked as is laid on in the book, but more people have worked through the inventories alongside others than formally through a mentor. Fostering fellowship has been a huge area of growth for us this year. Our intersangha engages in weekly activities which include hiking, yoga, service work, tea/coffee house gatherings, service work, and other social events.
We have a wide variety of meetings, including topic discussion, book study, fold-focused, and speaker meetings. There is ample opportunity for newcomers to become involved in service positions, social activities, and community outreach. We now offer free yoga specifically for the Refuge Recovery community. We have also recently hosted Noah Levine and Dave Smith for presentations in Asheville, held several half-day retreats, and will have our first daylong in May with Andrew Chapman. We are hoping to offer workshops with Deborah Eden Tull, who now calls Asheville home.
Our H&I Committee is relatively new, with plans to take meetings into treatment programs, therapeutic boarding schools, and the jails. All of these entities have been asking for us to bring in meetings for years. There is interest in starting RR affinity meetings for young people and the LGBTQA+ community.
The focus in these first years has been to create a safe space. Whether or not RR is your primary path, no matter your opinion about 12-Step recovery, how much/little you know about meditation, we want you to feel safe and at home to express yourself in a community of support. A member adds, “Walking into a meeting where people share their struggles and their solutions allows others to do the same. That the sangha is the one place we don’t have to know it all and that that allows others to not know it all either. And when challenged about something, we understand people are hurting and seek to understand our part and their perspective before we seek to make them wrong.”
Meet the Man Behind the Curtain
Refuge Recovery Chicago
Hey Refuge! You know all that cool stuff happening everyday behind the scenes? No? Of course you don’t! That’s the goal! And yet, SO MUCH work vital to our noble mission gets done quietly and we want to take a moment and give a shout out to our amazing tech genius DANO who has used his super powers to design, build and run our amazing new website, https://refugerecovery.org (and lots of related cool stuff for us that we could never quantify!)
Dan is from NYC, and you’ll know it the second you meet him. He’s as honest and straightforward as they come, as reliable as NYC itself. Dan recently relocated to Chicago, and he fell into fast friendship with everyone, building communities and allies, leading meetings and making everything more beautiful (the people and the place). Dan is design OBSESSED. No, seriously, you don’t understand. He literally can’t stop. He obsesses over every detail and that’s why everything we have now is so AMAZING. He sees things before anyone else, he future thinks how to make shit better before people even know they need it better. He’s constantly saying “How do we make this better? How do we help more people?” He works on himself, his practice, fellow Refuge members and the website constantly— he lives, uses and creates all the tools we use everyday— because he knows that the path of practice and selfless service is how he stays sober. DANO’s service to refuge is just his side gig—- he’s a full fledged freelance design artist, making cool shit pop and helping companies get their product the exposure it deserves. DANO is also a handygenious, he can fix anything—- give this boy a hammer and he’ll build you a stand up desk, replace your plumbing or hang your art. The list is long, the skills real— and we’re the recipients of this guy’s full heart and spirit. Let’s all thank him together by giving him the shout out he deserves (and sending him pictures of pink elephants whenever possible.)
Hi Sangha- hope this Newsletter finds all of you well and, for those of you in the Northern Hemisphere, enjoying the summer. I’m pleased to report that our annual conference, referred to as RefCon, went beautifully this year.
Major props to our Planning Committee, which was composed of Regional Representatives from around the US and Canada, and local arrangements, managed beautifully by the Los Angeles team. They all did an incredible job, both in the planning stages and supporting the conference participants throughout the weekend. RefCon4 was a celebration of sangha, with speakers who helped start Refuge Recovery all those years ago as well as folks who are newer to our community. A whole lot of spirited folks in one place lifting the building off the ground. This was our first year live-streaming and I want to acknowledge one of our crew in Canberra, Australia for suggesting we give it a try. We’re posting a link to each session on the Refuge Recovery website so you can check them out if you were unable to attend or catch the live streams.
We workshopped the draft Regional Representative job description and infrastructure design at RefCon too and you can find those docs on our website as well. The Regional Reps are socializing those now with local sanghas and inter-sanghas so more to come on that front. We’re getting organized, people!
Our first Annual Report was summarized at RefCon and that is now posted on the website as well as our 2017 tax return. Many thanks to Board Treasurer Chris Kavanaugh for his work in getting those docs prepared. The Refuge Board of Directors is well aware that sorting through the various entities tagged as Refuge Recovery can be confusing. Just to be clear,
the Refuge Recovery non-profit organization is not affiliated with, or funded by, the Refuge Recovery Treatment Centers, sales of the book Refuge Recovery, retreats, or teacher and facilitator trainings. Our organization exists to support all of you who are attending Refuge Recovery meetings. We are solely funded by your generous donations.
Thanks so much for everything you do to make our turbulent world a refuge. I look forward to seeing you soon on the Sangha World Tour; next stop is Dover, NH for the first-ever Region IX Conference!